The Typical Kyman Story
by FujoshiGirl789
Summary: Yeah, this is the typical story of Kyle and Cartman getting together. The only difference is that they're actually ten in this and not sixteen or something. Just enjoy the story. Helpful Tip: Flames don't help. They don't offend me because they just sound stupid in my opinion and won't change anything because I really don't give a shit. Rated T for cussing and other stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: If Only It Weren't So Hard…

_Author's Note: Oh, um, hey there…I see you've stumbled upon my first-ever fanfic. I've really always sorta wanted to write fanfiction ever since I've discovered it, but I never deemed myself good enough to write one. Though I just said to myself, "You'll never know unless you try, right?" and then I ended up here. Just so you know, they are all canon aged. Well, hope you enjoy!_

_Pairing – Kyle X Cartman_

**CARTMAN'S POV**

I hate school days.

I hate everything about them; I always have to wake up super early, go to school, and I have to survive a full day around _him_.

And who is _he_, you ask? _He_ is someone I've known for six years, since Pre-School. _He_ has been my worst enemy since we met. _He_ is someone who's been on my mind since forever.

_He_ is Kyle Broflovski, who is everything I hate. Yet I love him. Why, God? Out of all people, why did you have to make me gay for Kyle?! Ugh, this is total mind fuck.

Kyle has _stupid_ red hair that's so _stupidly_ poofy he has to cover it with that _stupid_ green hat of his, not to mention he's a _stupid_ Jew, and he's so smart that it makes him _stupid_.

Ugh, who am I kidding? He's just so _adorable_, with those _adorable_ green eyes of his, and his _adorable_ voice, and his _adorable_ fucking everything!

I grumpily made my way to the bus stop. Waking up early after a restless night of staring at a picture of _him_ makes me totally pissed.

"Hey fatass." Kyle greeted me, without doing so much as looking my way. "Don't call me fat, you stupid Jew!" I grumbled, trying to sound angry but failing miserably.

He turned to look at my sleepy self, noticing how freaking tired I sounded. "Jesus dude, have you been up all night?" he asked.

I didn't answer, just stood beside him, waiting for those two faggots Stan and Kenny to show up. Kyle, figuring that I didn't want to reply, just rolled his eyes and looked away from me again.

Stan and Kenny finally showed up, just in time for the bus to arrive. "Took you fags long enough." I murmured, just loud enough for them to hear.

"Mph mph, mphmph." Kenny growled, flipping me off before boarding the bus alongside Stan. I scoffed and walked in after them without another word.

Nobody sat down next to me when I chose an empty seat by the window, of course. Nobody liked me at all. But…but who needed any of those retards anyway? I'm fine on my own.

My heart rate began to speed up when Kyle plopped down next to me, only the slightest hint of nervousness on his face. Was something wrong with him?

Luckily, I was able to keep my face from burning up for staring at him for more than five seconds. That's one of the advantages of being sneaky and manipulative.

He suddenly turned to look at me, our gazes meeting. We kept it like that for a few moments, before looking away awkwardly. Oh God, I'm pretty sure my blush is visible now.

The rest of the bus ride was spent like that. All that was clear to me was that it was just me and Kyle there, sitting side-by-side…it took everything I had not to try holding his hand.

After what took way too long, the bus finally arrived at South Park Elementary. I rushed out of the bus as fast as I could without looking suspicious at the same time.

"Okay, class, instead of our usual lessons, I've been given instructions by Principal Victoria to do some boring math instead." Mr. Garrison began as soon as everyone was seated.

"Aaaawww!" the class groaned. "Fucking weak!" I added. Mr. Garrison sighed with exasperation; "I know its fucking lame, but I'm just doing my job so shut up!"

I didn't pay attention to anything that asshole was talking about. Math is stupid anyway, and besides, that's why we have calculators!

My gaze fell on Kyle on its own accord. He was absorbing every single word Mr. Garrison said like the total suck-up he is. Goddamn Jew.

He looked so tempting, like a plump mouse in the sight of a hungry cat. But I knew I would never be able to have him even if I tried my hardest.

Though it only made me want him more and more every day. Just knowing he was out of reach made me want to try harder to grab for him. I sighed, love is so screwed up.

Like, seriously God, what do I get out of all this? Oh right, nothing. Maybe you should at least get Kyle to like me back before you decide to FUCK ME!

…_Aaaaaand that concludes the first chapter. Hope you liked it, if you did make sure to leave a review and a favorite. I sure would appreciate it if you could suggest ways on how to better my writing skills for you guys! :)_

_Much love,_

_FujoshiGirl789_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A Secret Revealed

…_you guys probably guessed what happens in this chapter from the title. If not, good for you. No, they are not immediately getting together this chapter. I want to rush it like that but sadly that would make this story only, like, 2 chapters long. I'm planning on making it about 4 or 5 chapters long, not too many chapters but not too little. Oh well, enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

**KYLE'S POV**

I took down notes of what Mr. Garrison explained and wrote on the board, making sure not to leave anything out.

Honestly, being so studious gets really annoying for me, but my mom will fucking kill me if my grades are anything lower than an A. Cartman was totally right, she's a fucking bitch.

Speaking of the fatass, I noticed him staring at the back of my head. Oh my God, why is my face heating up again?! The same thing happened on the bus ride here. Strange, huh?

It's just that lately I've been acting sorta strange whenever Cartman is around. My heart rate speeds up, my face goes red, and I get this weird feeling in my chest that I can't describe.

Maybe I was sick or something. Yeah, that had to be it! Why else would I be feeling this way? Unless…no, don't even think about it Kyle! Was I really…? No, I couldn't be!

Why of all the decent people in the world do I have to be feeling so strangely for _Cartman_?! He's been ripping on me for a number of reasons since we met six years ago in preschool.

I mean, come on! He'd be the king of spoiled, racist, bigoted assholes if he even had the potential to be the king of anything! ARGH!

My brain hurts now. But luckily for me, the bell for lunch went just in time. "Ugh…finally." I groaned, packing up my stuff and hopping off of my chair to leave the classroom.

As I left the room, I noticed Cartman and Stan talking in a place away from everybody else. Odd, what were they talking about? I stepped closer, curiosity getting the better of me.

"…y-you're not gonna tell Kahl, right?" Cartman asked. Tell me what? "Maybe, maybe not." Stan shrugged, "Anyways, why have you been a dick to him all this time if you were actually attracted to him?"

Time stopped there. Cartman liked me…? Cartman liked me…back? I flinched at the thought. Was I really in love with him? There was no doubt about it, with the way I felt right now.

My chest felt like it was going to burst any second. I tried to back away, but there happened to be a puddle of water I didn't see and I slipped clumsily.

_THUD!_

Both Cartman and Stan turned in my direction, startled at the sudden noise. "Oh crap!" Cartman cursed, panic flooding his gaze.

"Dude, are you okay?!" Stan asked, running over to me to help me up. Cartman just stood there, his gaze lowered to his feet and his face a deep crimson.

"I-I-" I tried to speak, but couldn't find the words to say. Without another word, I ran off, confused and shocked.

I couldn't deny it anymore. I was gay for Eric Theodore Cartman. The realization made me stop in my tracks; fortunately I was far away enough from Stan and Cartman that I couldn't see them.

And then right there, I was proven wrong. "Kahl, let me explain!" the unmistakable voice of Cartman reached my ears. I whipped around, unsure of what to say or what to do.

There was no way for me to run away anymore, because this was a dead end in the hallway and I was too tired anyways.

I was totally screwed.

* * *

_Sorry for the short chapter. But anyways, three cheers for mutual feelings! Will Kyle and Cartman work things out and just kiss already, or will their lives forever be filled by the misery of awkward silences? Eh, probably both. If you like the story so far don't forget to leave a review and a favorite/follow! I feel so warm and happy inside when I get an email that says I received a favorite/follow/review! Stay tuned for the next chapter! ^3^_

_Much love,_

_FujoshiGirl789_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Insert Catchy Title Here

…_I ran out of name ideas for chapters since I never know what I'll be writing about. For all I know I might be writing about them making out in this chapter. Who knows? Well, anyways, enjoy the fucking chapter._

**CARTMAN'S POV**

"Look, Kahl, I…I…" I began, unsure of what to say. Goddamnit, if only that stupid hippie hadn't figured out my secret! Kyle probably hates me more than ever now.

His gaze was set on his shoes, and the look in his eyes was unreadable. "…I…I…" I stuttered. Why couldn't I say three goddamn words?! Jesus, see me through this!

"I…I…I can't say it!" was all I could get out. Without thinking, I ran off. I must look like a total pussy right now…not good, not good, not good, not good!

Kyle was probably disgusted right now. My life couldn't get any worser right now. Kyle pointed out many times that worser wasn't a word, but I still used it to piss him off.

I sighed, stopping in my tracks. I felt really tired because I was way too big-boned, not fat, to have much stamina.

"Cartman!" dread filled my body as I heard _his_ voice. Oh shit… "W-what do you want, Jew?" I sniffed, tears suddenly pricking at my vision.

He was panting, too. Guess that's what he gets for being a stupid Jew and studying all the time, when he could be doing something productive like watching TV or eating cheesy poofs.

But that wasn't the point; he was probably going to tell me he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I waited for him to have his say, only to feel his warm arms wrap around my neck.

I felt extremely shocked at that point. What the fuck?! "K-Kahl?!" I could feel my cheeks heating up immensely as he just tightened his hug.

"I…I like you too!" Kyle cried, burying his face in my shoulder. Oh my god, did I die and go to heaven or something? What the fucking hell?! My mind went blank.

Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around his waist. I could feel his heart beating wildly against my chest; the same could probably be said about me.

I just hugged him closer to me. He ended up having to stand on his toes because I was taller than him. "…I'm sorry." I said simply. He pulled away and looked up at me in surprise.

"For what?" he asked, his emerald-like eyes meeting mine. "F-For everything…" I muttered. This was so fucking hard to say! I never expected to apologize to anybody in my life, let alone Kyle.

His expression softened into an adorable smile. "You don't have to be. I love you just the way you are." he replied, pulling me into yet another hug.

_I love you just the way you are…_

_Love…_

I smiled. I had never expected to hear that in my lifetime. And from Kyle, no less! It made me feel so good inside…a feeling I had never felt before.

God, this sounds so fucking cheesy. Curse you, God! But at least you made Kyle love me back so I guess I take that back.

"Does that mean we're…you know?" I asked, pulling away. Okay, that was really cliché, but I really don't give a shit as long as Kyle says yes.

"Duh! Unless we just confessed to each other for nothing, then how could we not be?" he rolled his eyes playfully. Honestly, you have no idea how fucking happy I was!

My chest felt like it would burst with glee – Holy shit, the gayness is totally real right now – But anyways, Kyle was finally my boyfriend. Oh my God. I think I really did die and go to heaven.

But there were problems. How would the other guys take it? It was either of two possible endings: they'd accept us or they could just be dicks and snub us.

Well whatever! I've got Kyle anyways, and he's all I need. Stan and Kenny wouldn't get in between us, no matter what! I would do anything to keep Kyle, even if it cost my pride.

So the next morning, Kyle and I walked to the bus stop together. Stan and Kenny were already there. "Oh, hey guys." Stan greeted us, casually. He was the only one who knew about my crush on Kyle.

"Hey Stan, guess what?" I asked, smirking. He seemed to already know the answer. "Oh, he likes you back?" he seemed kinda surprised. I wouldn't blame him.

Kenny quirked an eyebrow. "Mph mph mph mph mph mph, mph? Mph mph mph-" he began, but was cut off by Stan kicking his leg with a glare.

I narrowed my eyes. I could tell they were hiding something. "You thought that what, Kenny?" I asked, suspiciously. Kyle just eyed me, puzzled.

"Nothing!" Stan replied, his face reddening the slightest bit. Despite the lack of answers, I could tell what was happening right away:

Stan liked Kyle, too.

There was no way in Hell I'm going to let that hippie steal _my_ Jew away! From now on, I'm keeping an eye on the both of them in case. If necessary, I would have no problem killing for my boyfriend. No problems at all.

Look out, Stan, because I'm watching you…

_Hooray for Yandere Cartman! What will happen with Kyle and Cartman? Will the other guys accept them? Will Stan try to steal Kyle away? Does Cartman have a knife hidden in his pocket? Probably. I'm going to be working on this chapter, like right now, while you're reading this but won't finish it till tomorrow because it's like 12 AM. Oh and by the way, Happy Fucking Valentines' Day._

_Much love,_

_FujoshiGirl789_


	4. Final Chapter

Chapter 4: Unforgivable

…_no, I'm not dead. So here's the long-awaited next chapter of The Typical Kyman Story!_

* * *

**KYLE'S POV**

"Cartman? Cartman!" I tried to call for my boyfriend's attention. He had spent most of the bus ride glaring at Stan. I know he suspected him of keeping a secret, but _goddamn_!

After 1384118251537639718371 attempts to get him to talk to me, he finally snapped out of it. "Huh? Oh, uh, what's up Kahl?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "What're you so interested in that I've had to call you about a million times to get you to listen to me?" I snapped, pissed beyond belief.

He looked away from me and out the window. "It's nothing." He mumbled. I couldn't believe my ears. That was it?! "Fine, if you're not gonna trust me, I'll just move somewhere else then."

I stood out of my seat and began to walk away. "Wait, Kahl!" I heard him yell, but the bus came to a sudden stop at a traffic light and jolted me off of my feet.

I felt somebody's arms cushion my fall. "Dude, are you okay?" it was Stan! I scrambled to my feet. "I-I'm fine!" I stuttered, a bit shaken.

"Wanna sit next to me?" he asked, to which I agreed. It's not like he would keep things from me like Cartman did, but I felt the chubby brunet's gaze burning into our backs.

The rest of the ride was uneventful. Even so, I could tell Cartman was staring at us the whole time. Envy and anger literally radiated off of him. But one thing overpowered that: suspicion.

Once we arrived at school, Cartman dragged me into the custodian's closet. "Ow! Cartman, you're hurting my arm!" I whimpered.

"What the hell was that?!" he growled, letting go of me, "Why did you choose Stan over me?!" "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know I couldn't spend time with my best friend!" I retorted.

"How do you know he doesn't like you too?" he snarled, "I didn't confess to you just to have you taken away from me!"

I folded my arms. "Seriously? That's why you were paying so much attention to him on the bus?" I scoffed, "Even if your suspicions were true or not, it's not like I'd just run off with him."

He sighed defeatedly. "I know that, and I'm sorry. It's just that I don't want to lose you." he pulled me into a warm hug, "You're worth more to me than you'd ever think."

I smiled and hugged him back. "The feeling's mutual, Cartman." I murmured, leaning into his broad chest. Before we could say anything else, the bell for class went off.

We exited the closet and walked to class together, luckily nobody saw us. I felt lighter and happier than before, yet a tad bit worried too.

"Okay class, today we'll be learning about…" Mr. Garrison's words were deaf to my ears for once. Were the others going to accept us? Would they approve?

When recess came, I contemplated telling Stan. No, he already knew. Kenny? Maybe he'd understand better than the others because they're a bunch of assholes.

"Should we tell somebody about us?" I asked Cartman as we sat next to each other in a private spot. He shrugged.

"I dunno. Maybe it's best we keep it secret because those assholes are never going to give up until we're miserable, even if we ignore them." he replied, with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

I hoped things would turn out ok for us in the end. I would hate to be disgraced by my family and friends, or even worse, be separated from Cartman.

"Whatever. Let's just enjoy ourselves in the meantime." I murmured, leaning against him. We spent the rest of the break cuddling together under the shade of the tree, carefree and happy.

For now, we were happy. We could never tell what the future might hold. Would we be accepted? Would our relationship end in tragedy? Or will it turn out alright? The only thing we could do is go with the flow of time and wait for whatever it had to chuck at us.

…but either way, we didn't care.

_See you later…_

* * *

…_and this is the conclusion of The Typical Kyman story. I left it at a cliffhanger, so YOU get to decide how this story ends! I just started another story about the South Park characters and a few OCs of me and friends being supernatural creatures so go and check that out if you're interested. Thank you so much for reading my first fanfic!_

_Much love,_

_FujoshiGirl789_


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